I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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