i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
