Don't you send me to vm
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize