sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You can't motorboat a personality
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
