Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
