remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
