dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
