just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize