I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
