I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
