i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
