hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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