just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
