I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
