One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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