How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
