He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
