I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
