Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
