You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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