what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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