Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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