Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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