i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
