Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
