Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt

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(757): View more from Virginia

i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward

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(631): View more from New York

The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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(516): View more from New York

Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std

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(541): View more from Oregon

Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate

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