I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
A bitchslap is in order.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
