I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
