I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
