After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Found the puke drawer
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
