I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize