I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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