Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
