Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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