He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
