so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
