great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
