Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
