Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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