my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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