If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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