Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
