Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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