I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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