I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
