I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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