You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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