I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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