I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize