Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
