guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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