Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i think i have two assholes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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