dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
