It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize