one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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