I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
