I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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