We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
