Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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