i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
