So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
